The winds of change are upon us! Perhaps you are selling your car? YOU ARE?!?
Having a hard time???
YOU ARE?!?!
Well, here I have compiled the definitive answer to your problems!!!
Simply follow the instructions below (for a minimal cost):
How to sell a car fast!!!! (HUMOR)
Set-up:
-1 car (good condition)
-1 cell-phone (junky is O.K.
-lots of poster paint
-a red carpet leading to the door of the house of the people you’re trying to sell it to
-several crappy actors
Now, put the car in front of a rich person (here-after referred to as your quarry)’s house
Write the following all over it and in a pamphlet with a sticker on the front saying, “warning: contains nudity” as an attention grabber >.<
- For Sale! $6,000! CHEAP!!!
- Use cell-phone glued to window to call us! (Speed dial 1!)
- FREE car wash every month by your choice of either 6 Norwegian girls wearing tight-fitting white garments OR 6 topless island honeys with grass skirts!
- FREE chauffeur (uniform with your color choice included)
- complimentary TOOTHPICKS with purchase!!!
- chocolates or mints (your choice) on your car seat pillows every morning!
- INSURANCE COVERAGE INCLUDED!!!
- FREE maid in FRENCH UNIFORM to clean out your ASH TRAY (promptly at 5-7 pm.)!!!
- KNIGHT wearing AUTHENTIC PLATE and CHAIN-MAIL ARMOR to guard your car when you leave it!!! (Als0: burglar alarm that says, “HEY!!! <insert name here>‘S CAR IS BEING STOLEN! IT IS AT <location–provided by ON-STAR> WITH THE LICENSE PLATE NUMBER <licence plate number>. THE CRIMINAL IS A <brief description of criminal, including height, weight, hair/skin/eye color, favorite food, whether or not they like long walks on the beach, and ANY EMBARRASSING DETAILS IN THEIR ENTRIES ON MYSPACE OR FACEBOOK!!!>“ (who wants to have that blared across a parking lot by the mall?!)
- spacious interior!! DOOR UNLOCKED for easier viewing!!!
- GREAT HANDLING!! KEY IN IGNITION to test for yourself!!!
- DOCUMENTS PREPARED FOR SIGNING, LEGALESE, ETC!!! IN A BEAUTIFUL GAZEBO!!! WITH A LOVELY VIEW!!!
- a bouncer standing outside gazebo with a clip board
- bouncer asks for name and credit card number of the people, checks “LIST” and says, “YOU’RE COOL.” before unlocking the chain barrier
- several crappy actors to stand outside saying, “WOW! ONLY $6,000!” “I KNOW!!! JUST THINK OF THAT!!” “I SURE WISH THE WIFE WOULD LET ME GET ANOTHER CAR!!” “HECK, I’D LEAVE MY WIFE TO GET THIS CAR!!”
- FREE RADAR to FOOL TRAFFIC LIGHTS!!!
- ALL POLICE STATIONS within 200 miles BRIBED to ignore you if you get caught
- NO SPEEDING TICKETS GUARANTEED!!
And now the brilliant money-making part: TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN!!!!!!
PLEASE SEND ME ANY IDEAS ANYONE GETS!!! ACCEPTING ADDITIONS!!! (I WILL CITE YOU!)
reviews about this post so far:
“[Two] thumbs [way] up[!!!!!!!!]“–My own mother…
“What the he***[a GOOD job!!!]“–My dad
“[I'm] *screaming* [with delight]“–My brother
“thanks for the support, you guys!” –me…
This entry was posted on May 29, 2007 at 12:57 am and is filed under A ball, A scream, Aberrant, Abnormal, Absorbing, Absurd, Account, Affable, Affecting, Amiable, Amusing, Anomalous, Antic, Asinine, Atrocity, Atypical, Avant-garde, Bait-and-switch, Batty, Bizarre, Blithe, Blithesome, Buoyant, Burlesque, Buyer, Caper, Capering, Capricious, Captivating, Car alarm, Car market, Care-free, Care_free, Carefree, Caution, Chancey, Character, Charming, Cheat, Cheating, Cheerful, Cheering, Cheery, Chicane, Chicanery, Chipper, Chirpy, Clever, Clownish, Cockeyed, Coltish, Comedic, Comedy, Comic, Comical, Compelling, Complaisant, Con, Congenial, Convivial, Crazy, Curious, Daffy, Deceit, Deception, Delightful, Demented, Derisive, Derisory, Deviant, Devilment, Devilry, Devious, Dicey, Different, Dirty trick, Dirty_trick, Dishonesty, Diverting, Double-cross, Double-dealing, Droll, Dry, Dubious, Dupery, Easy, Eccentric, Elvish, Enchanting, Engaging, Engrossing, Enjoyable, Entertaining, Enthralling, Enticing, Entrancing, Erratic, Exceptional, Exciting, Extra-ordinary, Extraordinary, Facetious, Fanciful, Fantastic, Far-fetched, Far-out, Farcical, Farfetched, Fascinating, Fascination, Fast shuffle, Fault, Festive, Fishy, Flaky, Flipant, Flippant, Folly, Fool around, Fool-aroung, Fooling Around, Fooling_Around, Foolish, For Grins, For Larks, For a lark, For_a_lark, For_larks, Fourberie, Fraud, Freakish, Freaky, Friskiness, Frisky, Frivolous, Frolic, Frolicsome, Frolicsomeness, Fun, Funky, Funny, Funny act, Funny business, Funny_business, Gag, Game, Gamesome, Gay, Gelastic, Genial, Glad, Gleeful, Good-natured, Good-tempered, Goofus, Goofy, Guile, Gyp, Hanky-panky, Happy, High jinks, Hilarious, Hint, Hoax, Hocus-pocus, Humor, Hysterical, Idea, Ideas, Idiosyncratic, Iffy, Imagination, Imaginings, Imp, Impish, Impishness, Implausible, Imposture, Impressive, Improbable, Inane, Incongruous, Indecorous, Inspiring, Interesting, Ironic, Irregular, Irreverent, Jaunty, Jest, Jesting, Jive, Jocose, Jocular, Jocund, Joke, Jokey, Joking, Joshing, Jovial, Joyous, Jubilant, Jumping, Kinky, Kittenish, Knavery, Knight, Kooky, Lark, Larking, Larks, Laugh-inducing, Laughable, Ledger, Lenient, Light-headed, Light-hearted, Lively, Log, Ludicrous, Mad, Maid, Maid-outfit, Maiden, Merry, Mild, Mirthful, Mis-doing, Misbehaviour, Mischief, Mischievous, Mischievousness, Misconduct, Misdoing, Monkey business, Monkeyshines, Naughtiness, Naughty, Not serious, Note, Notion, Nutty, Obliging, Observation, Odd, Oddball, Off-beat, Offbeat, One-liner, Outlandish, Outrage, Peculiar, Pensieve, Peppy, Perception, Perky, Piquant, Pixie, Play, Playful, Playfulness, Pleasant, Pleasantry, Poor character, Prank, Pre-disposition, Preposterous, Pretense, Priceless, Problematic, Punning, Puzzling, Quackery, Queer, Questionable, Quip, Quirky, Rare, Rascality, Remarkable, Restorative, Rich, Ridicule, Ridiculous, Riot, Riotous, Rip-roaring, Risible, Rocking, Roguery, Roguish, Roguishness, Rolicking, Rollicing, Romp, Rousing, Sabotage, Sarcastic, Satirical, Saturnalian, Scam, Scream, Screwy, Sensation, Sharp-practice, Shenanigan, Shenanigans, Side-splitting, Silly, Singular, Skin-tight, Slapstick, Smart, Smiling, Spoof, Sport, Sportive, Sportiveness, Sprightly, Spritely, Statement, Stimulating, Sting, Stirring, Strange, Striking, Stunt, Stupid, Subterfuge, Sunny, Supposition, Swindling, Talent, Teasing, Thought, Thoughts, Thrilling, Tomfoolery, Tongue-In-Cheek, Transgression, Trickery, Un-common, Uncommon, Unconstrained, Unconventional, Uncustomary, Underhanded, Underhandedness, Unique, Unlikely, Unusual, Uproarious, View, Vivacious, Wacky, Waggery, Waggish, Waggishness, Way out, Way-ward, Wayward, Waywardness, Weird, Weirdo, Whacko, Whacky, Whimsical, Wild, Winsome, Wisecracking, Witticism, Witty, Wonky, Wry, Zappy, Zingy, Zippy, car sale, car sales-man, har-har, sell a car, sell car, selling a car, zany. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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May 29, 2007 at 4:20 am
please leave comments if you read this!!!
include whether you liked it (for the quotes) also, add any things you can think of